Do you ever have those days when things just don’t seem to go the way you want them? It doesn’t take much to send you spiraling down the path of unhappiness and “Just leave me alone” thoughts. And it could be anything that set this off. An argument with your significant other, your boss or a co-worker being in a grumpy mood, you spilled your coffee before you’ve had a chance to drink it.
Keeping yourself in good spirits under these conditions can be challenging to say the least.
I know because I’ve been there and on occasion still go there. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to get me in a state of upset, being pissed off or even shouting “You #@$%!&^ idiot, you could have killed me” to the driver that just cut me off in traffic.
But hang in there! It can and will get better. It’s just a matter of re-focusing your thoughts.
So what do I do when I find myself being sucked into the black hole of pessimism and just plain grumpiness?
I keep a positive mind by focusing on all the good things that surround me. But where is the positive in all the things mentioned above?
Well let’s see:
1) The argument with your significant other. On the surface definitely not a positive experience. But if you stop and think about it, all an argument really is are two people with different opinions about a subject that both feel they are right. What if you stepped back for a moment and looked at the disagreement from his/her point of view? And while you’re doing this realize how fantastic it is that you have someone to share your life and opinions with? And remember all those wonderful experiences you both had together?
2) A grumpy boss or co-worker; spilling your coffee. While it’s easy to get caught up in the moods of others, what I normally do is detach myself from these situations and remind myself that no one can control me. What I mean by that is that I do not let other people or situations control my thoughts and reactions.
3) The driver that cut me off in traffic. This one is one of my biggest pet peeves because not only do reckless drivers put themselves in danger, they place everyone else in extreme risk. (soapbox moment) What I do when this happens to me I re-frame my thoughts by thinking to myself: “Maybe they’re in an emergency situation” or “I’m glad my reflexes are so good that I was able to avoid danger”. It’s all a matter of changing what you’re thinking about.
All this may sound simple because it is. It really doesn’t take much to change your mood or your attitude. For me the most difficult part was catching myself and realizing when I was in a particularly foul mood. Now because of my being more aware of my thoughts, it doesn’t take me long to re-frame my thoughts and get into a happier place which serves me better.
And the most significant thing I do now is express gratitude for everything I have, what I will have, and for everything and everyone that is around me. You would be amazed at how this one very simple act has changed my life and how it can change yours.
I’ll leave you with one of the many positive quotes I like, this one by Mahatma Gandhi.
Wishing you happiness and total empowerment.
Keep your thoughts positive
because your thoughts
become your words.
Keep your words positive
because your words
become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive
because your behaviors
become your habits.
Keep your habits positive
because your habits
become your values.
Keep your values positive
because your values
become your destiny.